i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
