I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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