i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
