Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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