I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i now understand why vodka
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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