quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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