Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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