I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
