My brain says no but my pants say off.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
