Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
