I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Randomize
