so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
