ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
