i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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