He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
