If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
