no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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