Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
