Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
