hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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