I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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