He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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