He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize