I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
