Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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