I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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