i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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