Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
