you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
