Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
