I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
