So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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