Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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