it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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