Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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