epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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