Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
