im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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