I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
