Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
