Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
