I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
