I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
