I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
