Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
