Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This is the prime rib incident all over again
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
