Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
time to smoke my breakfast
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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