is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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