i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
