found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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