my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
