i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
