And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
