im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
