dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
